6' 9" and Shrinking

Okay. So, not quite the regular, frequent blogging that I promised when I started.... I will do better! lol...

First, the numbers.... I have lost 10 lbs in the last 3 weeks. Acceptable, I think. :-)  I suppose I can't lose at the rate I did back in November. Averaging 3 pounds a week is good.

This time around, EXERCISE is going to have to be the key. Low calorie intake will not suffice. I have been walking again, jogging when I can. The jogging is getting easier. Getting out and exercising has quickly become an addiction. I have a tendency to overdo things, so I am forcing myself to ease into my exercise program. I need to get with my personal trainer soon. I can get my lower body into shape fairly easily, but my core and upper body.... that is going to take some assistance.

Even more important than exercise this time around: getting my head in order. I am attempting to be gentle with myself. I am working hard on being less negative, or, as I should say, more positive. The exercise makes it easier, but it requires constant awareness and effort. Not only am I rebuilding my body, but I am rebuilding my inner self. Tweaking and improving who I am. Working on being the best Laura I can be. There are struggles, unwelcome thoughts, unpleasant emotions. Instead of fighting them I am attempting to acknowledge their existence, just something that "is", not investing in them, and letting them pass. NOT always easy, but with practice, hopefully, some of these thoughts will disappear.

As part of my new routine I have begun doing some "girly" things.... Working on my outer appearance, trying to put my best face forward as I transition. I have been straightening my hair, doing my nails, wearing some makeup.... I have been getting some positive feedback. It is great to hear.

Okay, so this post is pretty darn sterile.... no emotions, feelings, deep thoughts. There are some issues and people I am having some issues with, however I am not entirely sure I am ready to put the details into writing. You can't make people like you. People will feel about you however they feel about you. There are a couple of people I wish would feel differently about me... but I can't change what is in these situations. I have to trust that it is for the best and the right relationships will come when the time is right. (Part of me, however, is jumping up and down, stamping her feet, whining "but I want it, but I want it now!!") LOL....

I know I have a lot more to offer than many people see/believe. Heck, more than even I believe sometimes. Trust in myself and the process.... sigh.... working on that too.

Sometimes I just want to cry, I wonder why I can't have some of what I want, who I want, why I seem to be meant to be lonely.... Is working to be positive keeping me from feeling my true emotions?? Am I just going to crack some day???

Well, off to get ready for bed.

Take care and thank you for reading! I appreciate your comments!